


The Other McLoughlin

by YoutuberObsessed (Kassidee)



Category: PewDiePie (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Breakups, Crack, Her name is Anastasia, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Irish temper, Multi, Texting, angst eventually, sean has a sister
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2018-11-15 10:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11229540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kassidee/pseuds/YoutuberObsessed
Summary: Youtubers in a Chatroom.Jacksepticeye has a twin sister.Nuff said.I'm terrible at summaries pls read.





	1. APRIL FOOLS MOTHERFUCKERS

**Author's Note:**

> TheOtherMcLoughlin- Anastasia McLoughlin  
> GreenPewDiePie- Sean McLoughlin  
> FelixHellberg- Felix Kjellberg  
> ItsAMeAMarzia- Marzia Bisognin  
> PJLuigi- PJ Liguori

TheOtherMcLoughlin: FELIX MOTHERFUCKING DICKWAD ABOMINATION ARVID DRACO MALFOY LOOKING FILTHY FRANK COPYCAT ULF  HELLSPAWN GOT RICH OFF OF GAMES KJELLBERG IF YOU DO NOT GIVE MY CAT BACK  
I WILL LITERALLY COME AND FIGHT YOU EVEN THOUGH I'M BABYSITTING MY FATHER'S DOGS  
GreenPewDiePie: Felix did you take my sister's cat  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: YES HE DID  
FelixHellberg: HAHA NOT A CHANCE ANASTASIA  
PJLuigi: what  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING ASSHOLE GIVE ME MY CAT BACK  
GreenPewDiePie: give her the cat, please  
PJLuigi: FELIX WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HER CAT  
FelixHellberg: IT'S APRIL 1ST MOTHERFUCKERS  
GreenPewDiePie: um it's June TheOtherMcLoughlin: I w a n t A r i a b a c k  
FelixHellberg: you'll get her back tomorrow  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: okay brb let me contact Keem and get you ROOOIIIGHT into the news  
FelixHellberg: STACE NO  
FelixHellberg: I JUST GOT IN MY CAR WITH ARIA AND TURNED IT ON AND THAT JAKE PAUL SONG STARTED PLAYING UGGGHHHH WHO BURNED IT ONTO A CD  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: ANASTASIA DID YA HO I PLAY D I R T Y  
FelixHellberg: i  
FelixHellberg: guess you're not getting Aria back  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I guess I'm going to have to kick your ass. Sean let's go  
GreenPewDiePie: where are we going to put Pa's dogs?  
FelixHellberg: up your ass  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: *mccoughin* bitch *mccoughin* we will put them in the back let's go  
FelixHellberg: Marzia pls help  
ItsAMeAMarzia: no  
FelixHellberg: thanks babe  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: hahaha omw ya cunt  
FelixHellberg: g r e a t  
\--------------  
FelixHellberg: happy now?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: yes v much thx  
PJLuigi: what happened  
FelixHellberg: gave Aria back to her  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: YOU GAVE HER A BROFIST COLLAR I HAVE THE BEST BEST FRIEND EVER  
FelixHellberg: wow what a change of heart I am thoroughly s h o o k  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Shut up and let me appreciate you  
FelixHellberg: um alright  
\--------------  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: will someone tell my neighbor to shut up  
FelixHellberg: Anastasia's neighbor...SHUT THE FUCK UP THX  
GreenPewDiePie: stop BOTHERING MY SISTER YA BITCHHH  
PJLuigi: SHE WILL KILL YOU NEIGHBOR  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Peej you are the neighbor YA BITCHHH  
FelixHellberg: YA BITCHHH  
PJLuigi: DON'T JUDGE MY LOVE OF NICKI MINAJ  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: *judges*  
FelixHellberg: *judges harder*  
ItsAMeAMarzia: *judges even harder*  
GreenPewDiePie: *judges hardest*  
PJLuigi: so much hard judging  
FelixHellberg: that's what you get  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: you literally had a mixtape Nicki Minaj sample in one of your videos don't even Felix you are a Barbz  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: also PJ YAAAA BIIIIITTTTTTTCCCCCHHHHH when you're yelling "THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMING SYSTEM TOP DOWN A.C. WITH THE..." ETC out your window into mine I wILL judge you tyvm byee  
PJLuigi: fair enough


	2. Tell Me He's Not Doing Anything Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix is mayor of grumpville, Marzia is jelly, Sean and Anastasia are drunk bastards, stuff happens because Sean's a drunk bastard, PJ still does not know why the hell he associates with these people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I decided to put in some drama earlier than intended, fight me

xHellberg: Anastasia stop texting me Hamilton lyrics non-stop  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: non-stop, huh?  
FelixHellberg: uh shit  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: AFTER THE WAR I WENT BACK TO NEW YORK  
FelixHellberg: u aren't even American wtf why do you like this musical???  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: i like musicals okay  
GreenPewDiePie: but you aren't American??? So how can you appreciate it???  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: you can appreciate the passion k? Now leave me alone  
PJLuigi: WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THAT MUSIC SO LOUD  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Shut up PJ and also Felix and Sean,  Lafayette was French so um shut up  
FelixHellberg: *sigh*  
ItsAMeAMarzia: he didn't actually sigh  
FelixHellberg: wow can't you love me and not call me out for once  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: take this outside the gc I don't need it  
ItsAMeAMarzia: sry Stacy it's been a rough day for us  
FelixHellberg: that's an understatement if I ever heard one  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: stop fighting I'm now at a bar with Sean and we are attempting to get drunk  
GreenPewDiePie: and the Irish kicks in  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: shhh  
FelixHellberg: how is our argument hindering your ability to get drunk?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: you take the buzz off by stressing me o u t  
FelixHellberg: brb then  
\--------------  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I'm drink wbahxy j d9pjd rkj  
FelixHellberg: Not sure what you were trying to say but put the phone down  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: RAI SEE3 A GLAAD TO FR3RDDOM  
PJLuigi: lightweight  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: luihu I am no t a lrigv t weight  
FelixHellberg: PJ go get them and take them home  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: no this is home and I'm not that much of a lightweight you swedish bitch, I'm Irish  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I've been drinking shits since the womb  
FelixHellberg: I don't think that's healthy  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: fuck I meant shits  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: shuts  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: s h o t s  
FelixHellberg: ok still not healthy but not as revolting, I'll give you that  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Sean here on the other hand will need some help  
FelixHellberg: Tell me he isn't doing anything stupid  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: well I mean you know how people say Jelix is alive and Septiplier is dead?  
FelixHellberg: people still ship it platonically (not how a ship works but what do I know) but yeah??  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I immediately started thinking about how an actual shipboat works  
FelixHellberg: shipboat? I will use alcohol as an excuse for you using that word  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: anyways um Sean just left with Mark and I think the ship is sailing more than platonically  
FelixHellberg: o  
PJLuigi: h  
FelixHellberg: O  
PJLuigi: H  
FelixHellberg: well then um i  
PJLuigi: is your brother gay or bi Stacey  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Idk but from what I have witnessed I would say he's gay tonight  
FelixHellberg: I just remembered something and it's called Signe  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: O H M Y G O D  
FelixHellberg: why didn't you stop him?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: under the influence. Also Sean is a grown man with free will. I refuse to be held accountable.  
FelixHellberg: this is going to turn out so badly I am genuinely afraid for Sean  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I don't even like Signe.  
FelixHellberg: yo doesn't matter, she likes Sean and she's kind of his gf and you should probably tell her  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Felix that is a terrible idea she hates me and would probably think it's just a gag to break them up  
FelixHellberg: ugh...PJ go pick Stace up since Sean's an irresponsible ass tonight and prob took the car  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: he did smfh  
PJLuigi: omw fam  
\---------------  
GreenPewDiePie: OMG I KNOW LIKE NONE OF YOU ARE AWAKE BUT I DID SOMETHING SO SO SO SO SO SO BAD AND I AM ASHAMED TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW AND I'M READING BACK AND ANASTASIA I'M SO SORRY AND I TOLD SIGNE AND WE'RE OVER  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I'm so sorry bro but also you're a dumbass  
GreenPewDiePie: it's k I guess and thanks I know  
FelixHellberg: you guys I'm pissed  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: when aren't you pissed it's like someone broke your bitch lever and now it is permanently switched on  
FelixHellberg: Marzia thinks I like you as more than a friend  
PJLuigi: whoa  
GreenPewDiePie: well I'll be damned  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: one thing after another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no


	3. Lemme Smash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anastasia sets the record straight, they reference an outdated meme, Felix and Anastasia confront Mark, and Anastasia gets a booty call text from a dude she hates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ PinkMoustache-Mark Fischbach

TheOtherMcLoughlin: Where even is she? Also did you even set the record straight on that?  
FelixHellberg: of course I did   
GreenPewDiePie: and she didn't believe you?  
FelixHellberg: she'll get over it, right?  
PJLuigi: this is you and Marzia we're talking about here, of course she will  
ItsAMeAMarzia: I'm still here you guys  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Marzia, there is nothing going on between Felix and me.   
ItsAMeAMarzia: I know, but I'm just scared he'll leave me for you  
FelixHellberg: n o   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: n o  
GreenPewDiePie: n o  
PJLuigi: n o p .  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: PJ YOU FUCKING  
PJLuigi: r u d e  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: anyways Marzia Felix loves you too much to leave you for me, and he doesn't even like me like that.   
FelixHellberg: rt   
ItsAMeAMarzia: fine  
FelixHellberg: are we good?  
ItsAMeAMarzia: yes  
\-------------  
*private chat between TheOtherMcLoughlin and ItsAMeAMarzia*  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Are you sure?  
ItsAMeAMarzia: no not completely   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Marzia...  
ItsAMeAMarzia: do you like Felix? Like romantically  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: no  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I used to   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: we dated for like 3 years in high school   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: my family lived in Gothenburg for a while but we broke up after graduation when I had to move back to Ireland but we lost feelings for each other anyways  
ItsAMeAMarzia: he didn't tell me you two dated...  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: it wasn't important. It was high school.  
ItsAMeAMarzia: but you're still part of his life   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: please don't be insecure, Marzia. You two have lasted way longer than we did  
ItsAMeAMarzia: fine, I will drop it for now  
\------------  
FelixHellberg: Ben u a hoe  
GreenPewDiePie: not that meme again  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Becky lemme smash  
GreenPewDiePie: Anastasia pls  
GreenPewDiePie: stop   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Sean your new name is Ben  
GreenPewDiePie: mhm  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: u a hoe Ben   
PJLuigi: why are you all so weird   
FelixHellberg: shut up you love it  
GreenPewDiePie: no we don't   
GreenPewDiePie: I was gonna say Imma add Mark but we haven't talked...  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: add him I wanna yell at him

FelixHellberg added PinkMoustache to the chat

TheOtherMcLoughlin: FISCHBACH   
PinkMoustache: SHIT   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: WHAT THE F U C K WERE YOU THINKING  
PinkMoustache: I really wasn't...  
FelixHellberg: WELL THAT IS CLEAR  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO DO THAT  
PinkMoustache: Alcohol?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: YOU FICK8NGBG THDIJENDJDN3IJRIR  
GreenPewDiePie: I took her phone. Hi, Mark.  
PinkMoustache: Sean?  
FelixHellberg: DO NOT TALK TO HIM YOU FORGOT THAT I'M STILL HERE AND ALSO PISSED AT YOU   
FelixHellberg: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU   
FelixHellberg: YOU KNEW HE WAS UNDER THE INFLUENCE AND I KNOW YOU COULDN'T HAVE BEEN AS DRUNK AS HIM  
GreenPewDiePie: F E L I X chill  
PinkMoustache: thanks  
FelixHellberg: Fine. My point is you took advantage of Sean knowing damn well he was drunk and also knowing damn well he was T A K E N.  
PinkMoustache:...Sean, I'm so sorry.  
GreenPewDiePie: Damn well better be. Alright, you can leave now, Mark.   
FelixHellberg kicked PinkMoustache out of the chat  
\-----------------------  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: this is why I don't date smh  
FelixHellberg: I'm why you don't date lmao  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Don't flatter yourself, I just hate men  
FelixHellberg: heh don't blame you  
GreenPewDiePie: I'm why she hates men  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: yes you are you trash  
PJLuigi: wait you hate me?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: nah you're decent   
FelixHellberg: take decent as a complement. Last time she called me decent we were 15  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: hahahahaha  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: ew Logan Paul just texted me  
FelixHellberg: disgusting  
FelixHellberg: I honestly don't hate them that much it's more of a dislike  
PJLuigi: What did he say and how??? did he get your number?  
FelixHellberg: OOH is that jealousy?   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Felix shhh and he said "hey baby what's up?"  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I said "Ben u a hoe"  
FelixHellberg: w o w  
GreenPewDiePie: lame  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: WTF he said "my name is Logan"  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I said "fuk u Ben bye"  
FelixHellberg: fucking hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment or leave kudos so that Becky will let Ron smash.
> 
> I'm so sorry for this abomination.


	4. SHAVE THE BEARD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bEARDS

TheOtherMcLoughlin: FELIX HELLSPAWN SHAVE THE FUCKING BEARD   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: YOU THINK I LIKE GETTING MY EARRING CAUGHT IN YOUR BEARD  
FelixHellberg: THEN DON’T WEAR EARRINGS   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: DON’T WEAR PUBES ON YOUR FACE  
GreenPewDiePie: I happen to think that beard is beautiful, I wish I could grow it like that.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: haha I would totally disown you and not regret it   
PJLuigi: wow, you’re salty today   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: YOU’LL KNOW SALTY WHEN YOU TASTE YOUR TEARS, PJ  
PJLuigi: and just what did I do   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: sitting there all cute and stuff. It’s illegal   
ItsAMeAMarzia: what   
FelixHellberg: what   
GreenPewDiePie: what   
PJLuigi: what   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: SHAVE YOUR BEARD, FELIX   
FelixHellberg:don’t change the subject   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: shit, man, we stay on one topic now? That’s not the wAY THIS SHIT WORKS   
GreenPewDiePie: aww, sis, do you have a crush on PJ?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: lol who is PJ do I know this person   
PJLuigi: come on, Stacy   
ItsAMeAMarzia: you can admit it, we’re your friends   
FelixHellberg: yea, even my beard is here for you   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: tell your beard it can shrivel up and die   
FelixHellberg: WHOA IT’S REAL   
GreenPewDiePie: THE DENIAL IS R E A L   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Yes, the Nile River is real, tyvm  
ItsAMeAMarzia: Just tell us already   
PJLuigi: she doesn’t have to say it if she doesn’t want to   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: cool   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: SHAVE THE FUCKING BEARD, YA SWEDISH BIIIIITTTTTTCCCCHHHHH   
FelixHellberg: fuck no


	5. Go To Sleep, You Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AMERICA IS BABY ENGLAND 
> 
> and more

TheOtherMcLoughlin: Jack Douglass is the coolest dude and I am hanging out with him 

FelixHellberg:is erin around or is it just you two freaks? 

GreenPewDiePie: I don’t think Anastasia will do what I did

TheOtherMcLoughlin: He’s showing me his shot glass collection 

TheOtherMcLoughlin: if he weren’t cuffed, I would cuff him 

FelixHellberg: kinky 

TheOtherMcLoughlin: lol I don’t remember asking you 

PJLuigi: Who is Jack Douglass?

TheOtherMcLoughlin: satire youtuber

PJLuigi: never heard of him 

ItsAMeAMarzia: I sense jealousy 

TheOtherMcLoughlin: He isn’t jealous. It’s completely possible that he has never heard of Jack

PJLuigi: t h a n k y o u 

GreenPewDiePie: we met him at Felix’s birthday party??? Are you sure you don’t know him???

TheOtherMcLoughlin: we were all pretty wasted that night, so…

ItsAMeAMarzia: you guys were

TheOtherMcLoughlin: let me ask Jack about that night 

GreenPewDiePie: seeing someone talk about another jack is weird

FelixHellberg: except your name is Sean, Sean.

PJLuigi: what all did happen that night? I seem to remember a lot of shirtless people 

ItsAMeAMarzia: i don’t remember the shirtless people? There were shirtless people???

PJLuigi: yeah, Felix was shirtless, Sean was shirtless...oh god, oh no no no

GreenPewDiePie: wow, I didn’t know me being shirtless was that bad 

FelixHellberg: rt

PJLuigi: wow, what is taking her so long to get this info? Must have been a w i l d night

TheOtherMcLoughlin: so everyone got drunk and took their tops off 

TheOtherMcLoughlin: Felix, Jack wanted me to tell you nice bod 

GreenPewDiePie: has he been drinking in your company?

ItsAMeAMarzia: whoa

TheOtherMcLoughlin: he wants me to drink with him so gotta b l a s t 

 

_________________

PJLuigi: wow is America just baby England?

TheOtherMcLoughlin: swow psdj what hare ayou snamoking? 

ItsAMeAMarzia: i can assure you that it’s not stronger than what you’re drinking

FelixHellberg: no, PJ, America didn’t want to be Baby England, that was the whole point of that one war way back when idfk 

GreenPewDiePie: what is the point of this conversation? 

TheOtherMcLoughlin: haha point leik th e poin t on a moiuntrqain

ItsAMeAMarzia: english isn’t my first language, but I know that isn’t english at all

TheOtherMcLoughlin: you wana na na know whatad is english? PJJJJJJJ

FelixHellberg: we are well aware 

GreenPewDiePie: go to sleep, you sins


	6. It's A Collab

FelixHellberg: fuck me   
PJLuigi: I don’t swing your way   
FelixHellberg: PJ this is not the time   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: what happened?  
FelixHellberg: I broke my headphones  
PJLuigi: buy new ones, duh   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: yeah, don’t you have stacks on stacks   
GreenPewDiePie: you don’t just talk about rich people’s money, Anastasia  
ItsAMeAMarzia: he wants me to go get new ones   
FelixHellberg: and she won’t d o i t   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: what is she? Your errand runner? Get outta here   
FelixHellberg: Shut up. So what YouTuber are you hanging out with today?   
PJLuigi: me   
ItsAMeAMarzia: ooo   
GreenPewDiePie: if you touch my sister I will kill you   
ItsAMeAMarzia: why the unnecessary aggression, Sean?  
GreenPewDiePie: sorry, I just don’t trust guys around my sister   
PJLuigi: don’t worry, it’s just for a collab  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: a collab so secret that I don’t even know what’s in store  
FelixHellberg: that sounds suspicious   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: and it’s not even going to be in his house, he’s just in there getting ready   
ItsAMeAMarzia: who gets ready in their house while someone waits in the car if it’s not a date?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: OMG


	7. Date Crashers

TheOtherMcLoughlin: I CAN’T BELIEVE HE DIDN’T TELL ME THIS WAS A DATE   
PJLuigi: I’M SORRY, I THOUGHT IF YOU KNEW IT WAS A DATE THAT YOU WOULDN’T COME   
GreenPewDiePie: YOU STUPID BRIT YOU ASKED ME IF YOU ASKED HER ON A DATE IF SHE WOULD SAY YES AND I TOLD YOU SHE W O U L D   
FelixHellberg: woooww  
ItsAMeAMarzia: you would think PJ would take Sean at his word, but…  
FelixHellberg: so where are you guys anyways   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: some fancy Italian restaurant   
PJLuigi: you sound so appreciative   
GreenPewDiePie: she knows it’s not real Italian food because she’s eaten Marzia’s cooking   
ItsAMeAMarzia: ^^^  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: that is very true   
ItsAMeAMarzia: shouldn’t we leave them alone since they’re on a date?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: yes you should  
GreenPewDiePie: I’m going to this restaurant you guys are at   
PJLuigi: don’t   
FelixHellberg: oh we’re totally coming   
GreenPewDiePie: we’re here   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: seriously???  
FelixHellberg: yes, we’re hungry   
PJLuigi: there are a million other places you could have eaten at   
ItsAMeAMarzia: srry   
FelixHellberg: we’re not actually sorry, and you two look cute   
PJLuigi: thx   
ItsAMeAMarzia: I see Anastasia took my advice   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: you ARE the fashion queen of this group   
GreenPewDiePie: tru  
PJLuigi: could you guys just not be like this   
ItsAMeAMarzia: i tried to convince them not to   
FelixHellberg: we wouldn’t listen   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: that’s clear   
GreenPewDiePie: this is the first date my sister has had in a while, k? We’re excited  
FelixHellberg: and I wanna see if this is better than my first date with her   
GreenPewDiePie: okay well you took her to McDonald’s for your first date so…  
PJLugi: looks like I’m already doing better...now leave us be, pls   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: get some food of your own, guys, so you don’t look stupid   
ItsAMeAMarzia: they don’t need any help looking stupid   
ItsAMeAMarzia: I just got hit with a breadstick   
PJLuigi: you’re welcome, please leave   
FelixHellberg: how about no   
GreenPewDiePie: we don’t wanna leave, mom   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: pls don’t call him mom   
GreenPewDiePie: k we should leave  
PJLuigi: G O O D


	8. Purplish Blue Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so wild that I don't even know how to summarize it, enjoy

GreenPewDiePie: die   
PJLuigi: that was quite abrupt and harsh??? Are you okay???  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I just made the guy watch 20 minutes worth of cute snakes and he hated it and so now he hates the world, you’re welcome   
PJLuigi: why would you torture someone like that?   
FelixHellberg: she likes to torture people,,, it must be an irish thing   
ItsAMeMarzia: torture is not an “Irish thing”, it’s a Sadist thing.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I never claimed not to be a sadist   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: so do you all like bread?  
ItsAMeAMarzia: italian bread   
PJLuigi: my girlfriend vaguely confirms that she is a sadist and then asks if we like bread  
GreenPewDiePie: she’s planning to bread-gag us   
PJLuigi: that sounds kinky   
FelixHellberg: and delicious   
FelixHellberg: also I guess PJ is into kinky bread stuff  
PJLuigi: it waS A JOKE   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: damn, PJ, didn’t know you were into that ;)   
FelixHellberg: Anastasia is going to hell   
ItsAMeAMarzia: she’s taking all of us with her   
FelixHellberg: of course, I was going to hell anyway  
GreenPewDiePie: i bet anastasia already has a house reserved for her in hell   
GreenPewDiePie: because, you know, there are totally houses in hell   
PJLuigi: OH MY FUCK   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: it’s not just ur fuck. Pls share   
PJLuigi: I DROPPED MY MUFFIN OKAY  
ItsAMeAMarzia: go get another one   
FelixHellberg: FUCK YOUR MUFFIN, EDGAR JUST ATE MY PILLOW  
PJLuigi:...go get another one 

…  
PJLuigi: I’m sure the bloke who was just at my door was high off his ass   
FelixHellberg: really??? I wasn’t at your door just now   
FelixHellberg: was it one of those hippies?  
ItsAMeAMarzia: I fucked a hippie once   
PJLuigi: okay, disregarding that totally random information,,, no, it was this guy asking for some milk but he wanted blue milk, okay? With a little bit of purple in it   
PJLuigi: I shut my door and i don’t know if he’s still there crying about the fact that he doesn’t have his purplish-blue milk.  
ItsAMeAMarzia: does that even exist?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: sure, if you have food coloring. But i’m in your driveway right now, PJ, and the dude is sitting on your doorstep, smiling at a stray cat   
ItsAMeAMarzia: at least the milk guy smiles at cats   
FelixHellberg: hey, I don’t smile at cats because cats don’t smile at me, rude little fuckers   
GreenPewDiePie: maybe cats don’t smile at you because you’ve got a bad attitude   
GreenPewDiePie: or maybe just because they can’t?  
ItsAMeAMarzia: you should always smile at cats   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: okay so now he’s whipping and nae nae-ing on your lawn  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: SHIT I’VE BEEN NOTICED  
PJLuigi: NOPE I’M COMING OUT THERE   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Aaaaaa he’s headed towards my car  
ItsAMeAMarzia: omg   
GreenPewDiePie: I’M YELLING  
FelixHellberg: should I move back to Sweden and get the hell out of Brighton? Survey says “run as fast as you can, b i t ch”   
ItsAMeAMarzia: but I don’t like Sweden  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: now PJ’s yelling at him and he’s yelling back at him like “GIVE ME THE M I L K” and PJ’s like “THERE IS NO PURPLE BLUE MILK, YOU FUCKING NUMBSKULL”,,, this is intense i think PJ is gonna punch him   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: OKAY HE LITERALLY SKIPPED AWAY FROM THE HOUSE, DOWN THE STREET SINGING “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA E L M O ‘ S W O R L D”  
ItsAMeAMarzia: m e   
GreenPewDiePie: goodbye, I am going to sleep   
ItsAMeAMarzia: why are men so strange?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: i don’t know. I knew a dude once in high school who thought he might be able to get surgery so his penis doubled as a knife   
ItsAMeAMarzia: THAT’S INSANE!  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I know, I hope he planned to never have sex if he did that   
PJLuigi: that sounds excruciatingly painful   
FelixHellberg: Oh, I remember that guy, his name was Joel.  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: he was really weird, that Joel.   
ItsAMeAMarzia: I remember this one man in town when I was a kid who used to sell straws--little bendy straws--for a dollar   
PJLuigi: there was a man who sold pot brownies and was never caught until he planned to sell his last batch   
PJLuigi: and on that note, Stacy and I are going to watch a movie, so bye   
FelixHellberg: bye, use a condom   
PJLuigi: it’s just a MOVIE  
FelixHellberg: ;) she gets cuddly


	9. Break Up #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of
> 
> unfortunate events 
> 
> oof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ FacksFilms- Jack Douglass
> 
> had to bring me me favorite big boy in

GreenPewDiePie: Give me cake or give me death.  
FelixHellberg: well said, sir   
GreenPewDiePie: We’re at PJ’s place, and he has cake but he won’t give me any because he remembers me telling him I need to lose weight.   
FelixHellberg: if you come over i’ll give you some cake ;)  
PJLuigi: ooh ;) but really, Sean, do you want me to help you go back on your word?  
ItsAMeAMarzia: i just woke up and Felix is being gay and Sean is suicidal because he has no cake. Got it.   
FelixHellberg: a.k.a just a normal day in brighton   
ItsAMeAMarzia: o shit u rite   
FelixHellberg: also where the fuck is Anastasia? She should be screaming at me right now   
GreenPewDiePie: She’s too busy trying to steal all the cake away from me and PJ like she’s eating for eleven people. D:<  
FelixHellberg: sounds healthy   
PJLuigi: and I’m just allowing this to happen because I’m a weak lil boy and I’m putty in her hands. #stacywearsthepants  
PJLuigi: also we’ve used a condom so she couldn’t even be eating for two, let alone eleven.  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Why are we talking about our sex life?  
ItsAMeAMarzia: pffft be glad you actually have a sex life with your partner   
PJLuigi: oof, wow, a little too much information if you’re saying what I think you’re saying, Marzia.   
GreenPewDiePie: ^^^We aren’t really interested in Melix’s sex life.   
FelixHellberg: … ugh  
__________

PJLuigi: LIL BITCH I HEARD THESE LABELS TRYIN’ TO MAKE ANOTHER ME   
GreenPewDiePie: OH, WELL IMAGINE, AS I’M PACING THE PEWS IN A CHURCH CORRIDOR AND I CAN’T HELP BUT TO HEAR-  
ItsAMeAMarzia: BABY YOU’RE A F I R E W O R K   
FelixHellberg: HEJ HEJ MONIKA  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: STEP OUT, STEP OUT OF THE SUN IF YOU KEEP GETTING BURNED   
GreenPewDiePie: //the musical fandom has entered my pure non-musical server//  
PJLuigi: she didn’t want to throw away her shot.   
PJLuigi: she unfortunately introduced me to hamilton (but not the others, thank god) and so now i like one musical :).   
FelixHellberg: at least you weren’t there during her 80’s movies obsession   
GreenPewDiePie: Oh, GOD, don’t remind me of that! I can never watch Breakfast Club or Heathers because of that.   
GreenPewDiePie: I just looked it up and apparently there’s a Heathers musical if you want to torture P.J. with that, Stacy.   
PJLuigi: i’m going to be so screwed if i marry into this family, aren’t i?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin:We’ll not talk about marriage so early, now will we?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: But if you want to-- I’mma be Bridezilla so hard and Sean will be my maid of honor :).  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: None of you are answering so you’d better be dead.   
FelixHellberg: sorry, friendo, i had to go argue with my girlfriend  
ItsAMeAMarzia: yes, because that is something you should totally share with everyone else. :/  
FelixHellberg: you shared about our sex life, i’ll share about our arguments :)   
PJLuigi: you two are really starting to piss me off with this. here i am, trying very hard to enjoy my lasagna, and here you are, arguing and being petty.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Seriously- if you two have this much relationship drama, you should just break up. It’s nonsense.   
FelixHellberg: … but, like, i could probably never find anyone else   
PJLuigi: you could both find someone else within a week, actually. i know someone who fancies you, felix, and also you, marzia.   
FelixHellberg: hhh, i mean i asked her and it’s true she wants to break up but ugh   
PJLuigi: well, i mean, you can both leave the group chat and we’ll all let you have your time to mull things over.   
ItsAMeAMarzia: that’s probably the best idea.   
{ItsAMeAMarzia has left the chat]  
[FelixHellberg has left the chat]  
__________  
GreenPewDiePie: And then, there were three.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I can add some people???  
GreenPewDiePie: Sure, as long as it’s not like...KeemStar or Jake or Logan Paul or Onision...or Ricegum...or anyone at that level.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: So no loud, obnoxious, lyin’ bastard? Got it.   
[TheOtherMcLoughlin has added FacksJilms to the chat]   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I added my American drinking buddy!   
FacksJilms: I’m your best friend and you refer to me as your American drinking buddy?   
PJLuigi: actually, i think you come in second to Felix :(   
FacksJilms: Aw, but he’s such a copycat!!1!!1!11!!!111!1  
FacksJilms: I’m just kidding--- we kind of killed that joke, didn’t we?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Yes, but you’re the king of milking a joke for all its worth. I can name a few but I don’t want to waste my time on that.   
PJLuigi: YO GUYS THE MILK GUY IS BACK   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: WELL HE HAS GREAT TIMING SINCE I WAS TALKING ABOUT MILKING.   
GreenPewDiePie:ALSO FELIX JUST SHOWED UP AT MY DOOR!  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I guess they must have done it, then. They broke up.   
FacksJilms: Shit, Felix and Marzia broke up? I didn’t even know they were having trouble.  
PJLuigi: honestly, that’s good, Jack, because they’ve been bringing our group chat down recently with their relationship drama.  
FacksJilms: Geez, I guess it’s better that I’m not here in the inner PewDiePie circle more often.   
GreenPewDiePie: Yeah, man, it’s really fuckin’ stressful bein’ around those two. Now he’s sitting there with a can o’ brew contemplatin’ shavin’ his beard now.   
FacksJilms: Speaking of shaving, Erin wants me to shave now and it’s not even that bad. I don’t get women.   
GreenPewDiePie: She probably wants ya to get rid of those little scratchers on your face.   
PJLuigi: see, that’s why i keep myself shaven. facial hair is not a symbol of a real man. once it gets to a certain length, it’s actually sort of gross and hard to manage, imo.  
PJLuigi: let’s face it, you don’t really look like a real man if you’re scratching at your face all the time.   
PJLuigi: Also, if you’re wondering about the milk guy, he just asked for a cupcake, I gave him one, and he went on his way.   
FacksJilms: I’m going to act like I know what you’re talking about.   
GreenPewDiePie: OOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CALLED ME UP AGAIN TONIGHT BUT OOOOOOOOOOOO THIS TIME, I’M TELLING YOU, I’M TELLING YOU - Felix really likes Taylor Swift, don’t let him lie to us ever again.  
FacksJilms: Is he listening to Taylor Swfit while getting over a break up? Ha, my man.   
GreenPewDiePie: and singing beautifully along with it, might I add? He has the voice of an angel.   
PJLuigi: That sounds a little...gay.  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: But we all knew that my brother was a little gay, but for Felix?   
FacksJilms: Wait, Sean’s gay for Felix? Holy shit. Who’d’a thunk?  
FacksJilms: I mean, it’s only the most obvious thing on the planet.   
GreenPewDiePie: What? No, I’m not gay for Felix. That’s ridiculous. And even if I were, hypothetically, I wouldn’t snatch him up just as soon as he got out of a relationship because then I’d become a rebound :( but I’m not gay for him so no worries :).   
GreenPewDiePie: He does hypothetically look adorable when he’s passed out from drinking so much, though.   
FacksJilms: Come on, if you can’t admit it to him, you can at least admit it to us, right?   
PJLuigi: come on, sean, i’m basically your brother right now, and anastasia’s your sister and jack’s your... nickname twin.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I do refuse to believe that he looks adorable when drunk and passed out because I’ve seen it myself and do not share the opinion.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: But Sean, I know you think it would be totally awkward for you to like Felix when he’s my ex but that relationship is ages old and we left it in another country. It’s time you came to terms with it so even if you can’t tell him, you can tell us.  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: But if you don’t want to tell us right now, that’s fine. Just know that we know.   
PJLuigi: guess he doesn’t want to tell us.   
FacksJilms: Do you just look at your significant other and think “why am I marrying this thing?” because me right now.   
PJLuigi: well, I’m not marrying anything at the moment.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: “anything” Anastasia, a.k.a me, is a thing now   
GreenPewDiePie: Stacy, nobody knows you as “me” except for you, so your a.k.a was inaccurate. You’ve gotten s c h o o l e d, sis.   
PJLuigi: i like to think that we’re all things because trust me, none of us are human.  
GreenPewDiePie: Also, to respond to everything you said, Anastasia- fine, I do have a thing for Felix.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: YES MY DEAD GAY SON  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: (You’re my brother but haha references)   
FacksJilms:...  
FacksJilms: I hate this chat so much that I love it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't break-ups sad? :( 
> 
> Don't worry, Felix and Marzia will be back (or at least Felix) in the next chapter.


	10. no u

GreenPewDiePie: I'm so gay.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: How gay are you on a scale of 1-10 right now?  
FacksJilms: I’d say he’s about an 11.   
PJLuigi: what kind of cute thing did he do now, sean?  
FacksJilms: I bet he just breathed. Sometimes that’s all it takes for some people.   
PJLuigi: i don’t think stacy could enchant me by breathing because her breath always smells like jameson.   
GreenPewDiePie: It does not! She hardly drinks unless Jack or I are around.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: That’s true. Y U lying, Peej? D;<  
GreenPewDiePie: Do you guys think that we should add Felix back in, at least?  
PJLuigi: i don’t know if that’s a good idea since you’re being so gay for him right now.   
GreenPewDiePie: Stacy could delete all the messages and then add him back in?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: on it

TheOtherMcLoughlin deleted all messages.  
TheOtherMcLoughlin added FelixHellberg to the conversation.

PJLuigi: welcome back to hell.   
GreenPewDiePie: I hope you enjoyed your vacation, because you are not getting another one.   
FacksJilms: Oh, by the way, I'm here now.  
FelixHellberg: oh, my copycat  
FacksJilms: pffft  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: You two really have beaten that joke to death.   
FelixHellberg: it's better than beating u to death like i want to  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Hello, 911? Yes, I do believe I'm being threatened.  
GreenPewDiePie: Felix :( don't threaten my sister :( she's slightly important to me.  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: I hope your nuts are also slightly important to you.   
GreenPewDiePie: Are you goin' to kick me in the nuts?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Nah, you left your almonds here and if you don't get them tomorrow, I'm going to eat them.   
FacksJilms: don't eat your brother's nuts  
PJLuigi: that's slightly disturbing out of context   
FelixHellberg: ur slightly disturbing out of context u whore  
PJLuigi: hey mate was that supposed to make sense or something bc you know what? it didn't.  
FelixHellberg: was ur face supposed to make sense  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: breaking news: felix is suddenly 5 years old   
FelixHellberg: felix is suddenly gonna fight ur mom gay  
PJLuigi: no u   
GreenPewDiePie: why. it isn't even a question. it's a statement. why.  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Well, why not, McLoughlin?  
GreenPewDiePie: You're a McLoughlin too, you can't do the whole antagonistic last name thing   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: who says I wasn't talking to myself, Saen?  
GreenPewDiePie: i'm taking a poll- who votes to go back in time and avoid my sister?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: are you saying I should have just dissolved in the womb?  
GreenPewDiePie: no like I could have just avoided you while growin' up with you  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: understandable  
FelixHellberg: nah stacy's kind of a cool individual   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: thank you for that half-compliment  
FelixHellberg: why, you're very welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit, my dudes! in 16 days, TOM, as known as The Other McLoughlin, will be a year old! almost a year and you've only done 10 chapters, well done, Kassidee 
> 
> To be fair, I forgot this existed for a while.


	11. epitaoh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allison mcloughlin joins the party

FelixHellberg: this city is so gay i love it   
FelixHellberg: everything is so gay i love it   
FacksJilms: ur so gay i love it   
PJLuigi: ur mom so gay i love it   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: ur meme so overused i love it   
FacksJilms: ur shade so real i love it   
PJLuigi: can we stop and talk about the youtube mentor program?  
PJLuigi: specifically why it is occurring???   
GreenPewDiePie: it's because of youtube's shady reputation. they think they'll get rid of it if they do what they think is a good thing.  
FacksJilms: by introducing more idiots into the community? we already have the pauls.  
GreenPewDiePie: they may not all be idiots.  
FelixHellberg: i can see you're being positive, and it's adorable, but be realistic  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: felix just called sean adorable you guys screenshot this   
FelixHellberg: you are blowing that WAY out of proportion   
GreenPewDiePie: unless it was never in that proportion ;)  
GreenPewDiePie: also my sister allison wants to join in   
FacksJilms: you mean there's more than just the two of you?  
FelixHellberg: there's 6 in total.  
FelixHellberg: that one christmas i went to their house was wild bc of them  
FacksJilms: that's scary   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: my siblings aren't scary.   
TheOtherMcLoughlin added AliMc to the conversation.   
FelixHellberg: ew look who it is   
FacksJilms: ...hi   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Ali!!! did you hear about the mean girls musical???  
FelixHellberg: oh god tell me you haven't   
FacksJilms: wait, she likes musicals?  
GreenPewDiePie: the entire mcloughlin family likes musicals  
PJLuigi: yeah, i heard sean crying over "for good" from wicked  
AliMc: Stacy!!! i did!! it's so good!! also don't bully my little brother u fruit >:(  
PJLuigi: ur the fruit >:(  
GreenPewDiePie: thank you for your defense, allison :)  
PJLuigi: jack you seem like such a people person but you don't seem to want to talk to allison   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: pj, it's rude to point things like that out   
FelixHellberg: why wouldn't you wanna talk to allison???  
FacksJilms: idk   
FacksJilms: I'm just not in the best mood today   
GreenPewDiePie: have a cup of coffee - that always works for me   
FelixHellberg: it doesn't take much to make you happy   
AliMc: seán is v simple boi  
GreenPewDiePie: no I'm not :(  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: come on, one Christmas Ma got you a blanket and you were pleased with just that  
GreenPewDiePie: so i'm easy to please but I'm not simple  
AliMc: the difference?   
GreenPewDiePie: isn't simple synonymous with dumb??  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: okay so yes, you're simple  
GreenPewDiePie: how do you delete your sisters?  
PJLuigi: i think there's a button somewhere in space  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: there shouldn't be a problem with that since he's out of this world   
GreenPewDiePie: why did I share a womb with you   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: you had no choice  
FelixHellberg: sean's epitaph will say "god bless him, he had no choice but to share a womb with anastasia"   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: my epitaph is gonna say "i died lol"   
PJLuigi: i really wouldn't be surprised if your epitaoh did say that  
Fackjilms: "epitaoh"  
GreenPewDiePie: sounds like something advanced vocal music students would sing  
PJLuigi: shh don't make fun of my error but yes i was one of those students and you're right   
AliMc: if we don't make fun of your error can we make fun of your face?  
GreenPewDiePie: don't be fucking rude   
PJLuigi: my face is pretty funny though ngl   
AliMc: i'm not being fucking rude if he agrees with me   
FelixHellberg: ur face is fucking rude   
GreenPewDiePie: hey now   
PJLuigi: you're an all-star   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: consider this: no  
AliMc: rt   
PJLuigi: it's people like you that make people want purplish-blue milk   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: i must be a drug dealer, then, because only people who are on crack want things like that   
FelixHellberg: don't kinkshame   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: it's not kinkshaming, you twat, it's a drink   
GreenPewDiePie: then don't drinkshame  
Facksjilms: DRINKSHAME   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: Seán ur lame   
AliMc: I'm proud   
GreenPewDiePie: mixed emotions from two v different opinions   
FelixHellberg: yikes  
AliMc: yikes is what I think when i see you   
FelixHellberg: Thanks   
AliMc: Feliz Navidad   
AliMc: that's how you say you're welcome, right?  
TheOtherMcLoughlin: yes   
PJLuigi: of course   
AliMc: great   
FacksJilms: wh   
TheOtherMcLoughlin: are you disagreeing, Jack?  
GreenPewDiePie: he better not be   
FacksJilms: well of course not


End file.
